stephen-on-bible

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised" (Pr 31:30). Everytime I connect my laptop to Internet, the home page of the company that offers Internet automatically pops up. I generally ignore viewing it, but recently, when I was about to close the home page, my eyes fell on the title, “Celebs without Make-up.” Being curious to know how they would appear, I clicked the link and saw the pictures of the top admired Indian actresses who makes hearts flutter. To my surprise, I found a world of difference in how these celebrities looked with and without make-up. I realized, much of their beauty projected in movies and ads is superficial. Granted that the beauty of these women is authentic, but does it not still fade away over the years? Are you aware of the beauty which is genuine and that which never fades off but shines even brighter? Physical beauty comes and fades away, just like the flower which blossoms and withe...

One day during this week, I went to pick up my children from school. As I sat on a cement bench, waiting for my children to come, a cute little girl came and sat beside me. Now I cannot endure myself to stay silent for a long time, except with a book before me or in mode of prayer or when I review the Scriptures that I memorized. I wasn’t engaged in any of these, so I turned and started conversing with her. I learned she is in third class, perhaps 9 years old, one year elder than Joy, my eldest son. As I was asking questions and getting answers from her, I casually asked her, “What’s your dad doing?” Her voice went low and responded, "I don’t know." I was a bit surprised and asked her again. She replied the same. This time, not being casual, I questioned, "Don’t you talk to your dad?" She replied with all innocence manifesting on her face, "No." My curiosity became intense and I asked, "Is your dad always serious?" ...

"In everything set them an example by doing what is good." The Holy Bible (Tit. 2:7) [Continuation of Part 1 ] Famous are the words of Gandhi, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Applying this to parents, it can rightly be said, "Be the change you wish to see in your children." If I want to change my children from watching TV excessively, then I myself must exercise self-control. If I desire that my children should pray and regularly study God’s Word, then I myself should first practice in front of them. If I expect my children to always speak the truth unto me, then I myself ought to be a man of truth. If I want my children not to speak foul language or communicate in an improper manner, then I myself must abstain from such talk. One father was upset when his son got into trouble for foul language at school. "But, Dad," the son replied, "I heard you use these same words last week." Not many children are bold in c...

"In everything set them an example by doing what is good." The Holy Bible (Tit. 2:7) Once a mother approached Mahatma Gandhi with her son. She said, "Mahatma-ji, tell my little boy to stop eating sugar." Gandhi then told her to come back with the boy in three days. When the mother returned, Gandhi said to the boy, "Stop eating sugar." The mother curiously asked, "Why was it necessary for us to return after three days just to tell my little boy that?" Gandhi replied, "Three days ago I had not stopped eating sugar." [1] Dear parents, here is the point: If we want to change our children, we need to change ourselves first . There was a word that I warned my son Joe not to use, but he could not give up. I realized that I have to change first to see my child change, for I have used the same word often before him. I changed and he too. Children get fretful when we tell them to do a particular thing while we do the contr...

In recent past, I have been invited to speak to teens in a Youth Camp. In the middle of my discourse, I asked, “How many of you know the ‘Ten Commandments’ by heart?” There were many teens present but not a single person could raise hand. Almost all these teens have come from Christian homes and some whose parents are active in ministry. I was surprised to witness blank response! After the message, I discussed with the coordinator and expressed my regret to him. I told him and tell you too—we can’t simply blame the children; the reason for lack of understanding of God’s word in present day youth is due to lack of effective Christian parenting at homes. Growing in the World without Knowing the Word Today’s young generation in Christian homes is advancing in all kinds of knowledge—celebrity gossip, technology, science, academic subjects, politics, entertainment (movies and music), sports—but with no proper knowledge of the Living God and His word. They are growing in the world without th...

"Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." The Holy Bible (Eph. 5:33) Many parents suppose loving children gives them great security. Is this completely true? Does loving them what all that matters to children? Or are they expecting something more from their parents? I’m not exaggerating —we may heartily love our children and give them all the best, yet they may remain as insecure as ever. Surprised? How could this be possible? Not long ago I was engaged in counseling a young girl who messed up her life by getting into things she shouldn’t. She had parents who loved her so much and gave everything they could for her. I was asked by her friend, “How come this girl felt lonely, insecure, in spite of having such caring parents?” I replied, “No matter how much parents love their children, if they do not love each other, they leave their children in absolute loneliness and insecurity.” Parents—Love One Another M...

"In everything set them an example by doing what is good." The Holy Bible (Tit. 2:7) Few days back, my wife and two kids, along with my friend Benjamin, were on our way to buy groceries for our training centre. As I was driving, a person riding a bike popped up in front of our vehicle; holding his bike’s handle with two hands, he was speaking on his mobile phone. How could he do that? He clasped his phone with his head fully bent over the right shoulder, and as expected, he couldn’t drive his bike properly and confused us who were at his back. Feeling a bit frustrated, I commented to my wife, “Look at that fellow’s driving!” My eldest son, Joy (six years old), immediately exclaimed from back, “Papa you speak likewise on phone while driving bike!” My wife too affirmed his constructive criticism. It was like a slap on my face. I was silenced and had to accept his correction. (We parents often think about shaping our children, but believe me, if we let the all-wise God, He often...

Few days back I was at home taking care of my second son, Joe. In my conversation with him, I used words in my vernacular language, which is generally used by elders in our culture - “You have no shame.” He is just three years and eight months old. When he heard, he repeated back those words to me, “You have no shame.” I told him, “You shouldn’t speak like that to elders.” He replied without hesitation, “Such words should not be spoken by anyone, whether younger ones or elders.” Those words came to me like a slap on my face. I apologized to him for using those words. He then gave back his usual cute and mesmerizing smile. My son taught me that day that every person, whether young or old, deserves respect. Often times, I have observed, we elders do things which we don’t expect our younger ones to follow. We think we have the right to speak and do anything and the children are forbidden to do such, even no right to question us. But should not we set a good example to them about how they ...

Note: The following message is a continuation of the previous topic: "Fathers, Love Your Children's Mother" The word ‘woman’ isn’t a sign of weakness but a living example of meekness. She is not a reflection of inferiority but of humility. She has been created by the Living God, not to manifest either smallness or haughtiness, but gentleness and kindness. What's more, she has been blessed with a grand privilege to exemplify submissiveness. Therefore, is it not unfitting for a mother to behave disrespectfully towards her children's father? Disrespect One major problem husbands have with their wives is-DISRESPECT. And this problem had jeopardized many families, including the lives of children. I once came across a true incident of a successful doctor who had an affair with an office secretary who wasn’t nearly as good looking as his wife. When asked by the counselor, “What did you see in her?” he replied, “She made me feel more comfortable.” “Whenever I went h...

(I think fathers deserve special attention in parenting because their influence upon the children cannot be underestimated in regard to how they treat their mother. I share the following message not as a perfect father but as a man who loves to be a mature dad.) “What is the most important thing I can do for my children?” asked a father to an elderly man. “Love their mother!” was the response. I am glad for those men who are loving and caring towards their wives but this isn’t the case with many. Let’s be honest and ask—what description comes into the mind of our children when they hear the term ‘father’? What impression do they have about fatherhood? Does the term ‘father’ or ‘daddy’ or ‘papa’ bring a sense of security and care to children because of the way he treats their mother or does that term sound scary and disappointing? Making the Lives of Children either Better or Worse A young girl confided to me: I hated my dad because of his rudeness and anger towards my mom. He...

Last Saturday, i.e. on 13th March, a seminar was held on “Healthy Family Dynamics”, addressing especially on parenting. Although being in an embryonic stage in the field of parenting, the Lord has blessed me with the gracious privilege to speak on this topic. After uncle Joy David and sister Hazel delivered their lecture, encouraging the participants on healthy parenting, I was left with only few minutes to share my message. Considering the short time I had, I gave up the message I had prepared and was inspired in my heart to speak to parents on honoring their parents. In my extensive study on parenting, I have observed that this aspect is mostly unaddressed by many. One of the instructions we find in Ten Commandments is to “honor your father and mother” (Ex. 20:12). This is also cited by Paul in his epistle to the Ephesians, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother—which is the first commandment with a promise—that all may go well...

There are many unforgettable events in our life and June 10, 2004, is one such of my life. I was in my friend’s house then. I got a call at midnight which left me tensed. I immediately got ready and rushed to hospital, driving for about one hour. By the time I reached, my wife had already left for surgery. I didn’t know what to do. I was silent and felt apprehensive about what was going to happen. Praying to God I was eagerly waiting outside the operation room. Then I heard a thin and raspy noise from the operation room. A nurse brought out a wondrous little baby, wrinkled and bright. I was overwhelmed with excitement to look at this cute little one, my firstborn son. What a joy to become a father! As this event brought so much of joy in my life, I named him ‘JOY’. I didn’t stop giving thanks to God for him since then. This year, on June 10, 2009, he had completed five years and entered into six. When he was five, I started to write some joyous times I had with him (betwee...